3 Hot, Sizzling Models To Get More Out Of Your Life …Aug 24th, 2007 | By Rachit Dayal | Category: NLP
All of us want more out of life.
Some of us want $$$. Others want love/sex. Still others want health & happiness. And we all work hard to keep getting better and better.
Some of us read books, exchange our lessons with other junkies. Others go to events, put the lessons into practice and experience the transformations in seminars. Some people even get guidance to conquer their biggest challenges and get personal coaching for breaching new boundaries.
No matter what medium you use to get the knowledge for personal development, there are times when you need to understand yourself. Your own desires. Your own needs. Your own definition of success.
Over the past few months, as I’ve taken my understanding of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to a new level, I’ve also begin to learn & make my own models.
The Answer Lies In Models
NO NO NO… not that kind of model! Stop thinking about hot, scantily clad, begging models …
You, twisted, naughty mind …
By model, I meant a systemized way of thinking. Of analyzing our thoughts.
A model is a system of analyzing results and following instructions to get certain expected results.
Yeah, I know … it sounds like its just out of a Freudian textbook. But stick with me here … Knowing and using these models has helped me completely turn my thinking around.
In fact, most successful people that I know … understand these models very well. And if they find such a model useful, they make it a point to apply it to their lives.
Why Do You Need To Know These Models?
Seriously, that’s a valid question. Why delve into a theoretical understanding of human perception and behaviour. After all, all we really want is to help ourselves (self-coaching) and help others (coaching), right?
So, here are some scenarios where these models will be useful. In a future post, I’ll talk in detail about how to apply these models and get results in your or a client’s life.
- Progressing faster at your work/school
- Seducing more women or Meeting the one of your dreams
- Seeing & feeling real results as your health improves
- Becoming more creative, spontaneous and better at problem solving
- Gaining the respect of others and yourself
- Coaching someone to change their behaviour
- Changing your own behaviour
- Understanding why you are happy or unhappy on certain days
- Figuring out the missing pieces that will make your life seem “complete”
- Understanding other people’s model of the world
- Knowing why your friends/partners/family members behave in certain ways
- Reframing to yourself and others around you for a more positive life
- With that in mind, let’s begin looking at these models.
Analyze The Balance In Your Life
I first learnt of this model while studying successful seducers. I found that there were some Casanovas who could very easily charm & bed women. But they were never really happy.
And there was another class of people who weren’t so flashy in their seduction achievements. But they seemed happier, more congruent and more well balanced.
As I dug deeper, I found that this next model was central to their lives. The self-analysis model basically states that
- Health – I’ve discovered that when people don’t have control over their health, or they’re sick … nothing else matters and they can’t enjoy anything else.
- Wealth – After health, the next essential life area is wealth & security. Without a bed to sleep on, even the most satisfying personal relationships don’t seem to make an effect.
- Love – Love from family, friends, romantic relationships and social circle. The acceptance of others around us, and self-love plays a huge part in completing our life and bringing satisfaction.
If you are lacking in any one of these areas, you won’t be able to enjoy the rest to the maximum. So, after you achieve the basic satisfaction in one area, achieve a balance in the others.
That will lead to long-lasting changes.
Understand Your Own Needs
Desires & satisfaction need to happen on several different levels. Usually, we need to achieve our lower levels of needs before we desire the higher ones.
- Physiological: You need to be breathing, have food, water, sex, sleep, cleanliness in order to feel satisfied on the first level. Once you’re there, you’ll find yourself desiring the next
- Safety: After you find yourself alive, the natural instinct is to desire safety of these resources (safe body, safe health, safe family, safe home). Typically, the first two levels are satisfied
- Love: Once your body & mind is safe, you’ll desire something greater. In the environment, the desire for acceptance takes precedence.
- Esteem: After your environment is settled and you have the comfort of a good family/friends/partner, the next challenge is gaining the respect of yourself and others.
- Self-Actualization: Finally, when all other needs are met, then we begin to desire more … above our current achievements … and internal capabilities. This includes creativity, morality & skills.
These levels are usually true. In most cases, we need the lower levels first, before we need the higher levels. For example, most of us need food & a roof over our heads … before we begin to worry about self-esteem.
But if you can become aware of this hierarchy of needs, then you have much more control of it. You can be aware that your self-esteem need may be fulfilled even before you have food to eat!
Analyze Your Problems & Solutions
The neurological levels (in NLP) are a way to analyze problems and solutions.
Let’s say you have a problem – You’re unable to clean your office properly (happens to me a lot!). This problem can be analyzed on the “Behaviour” level. My behaviour is not up to the standard.
So, how do I solve this problem?
The trivial solution would be to say – “Let me change my behaviour to start cleaning”.
But Albert Einstein said that a problem can never be solved on the same level it was created … and I think there’s a lot of truth to that. So, if my problem is on the behaviour level, my solution should be on the environment, capability, belief, identity or mission level …
Possible solutions to the problem of not cleaning enough …
- Change my office and the people around me (environment). That’ll make the behaviour automatically change as the old behaviour can’t survive in the new environment.
- Learn the skill of keeping things organized (capability). The preferred behaviour is just part of the whole capability now.
- Figure out and believe that clean, organized people are always more successful (belief). This will force a change down the other levels.
- See myself as a clean & organized person (identity). Once I have such a strong, clean identity … if I remain untidy, it will be very incongruent. And this incongruence will cause more pain than the task of actually cleaning up.
Next Steps …
For starters, take a moment to answer the following 3 questions:
- When it comes to the health-wealth-love balance … does your life have the perfect balance? Are you doing enough to get that balance?
- Do you understand Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? If you were to pick your top 3 desires today, which need level would they fall under?
- Select the largest challenge you face in your life today. Which neurological level does it fall under? Can you think of solutions that span other neurological levels?
If something in this article touched a particular nerve, just post a comment about it (feel free to mask out sensitive details from your own life).
Any discussion in area is always a fruitful discussion!