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Coaching’s Cool …

Jul 28th, 2006 | By | Category: Happiness, NLP, Peace, Personal Stories

This week, finally took a few hours off work to go to POE coach training. As usual, it was Pete spinning webs, opening loops and making himself look like an idiot to all the new coaches.

As usual, those of us who understand how he works … were sitting back and chuckling at the perplexed faces of everyone else.

There were a LOT Of new faces there – more than I expected. Nevertheless, I did miss a few old faces … I’m hoping they will come back to coach … that time off will really help them too.

In fact there was one particular moment of epiphony I must mention. There was this pretty coach who has never coached before. And after two days she wouldn’t stop gushing “with compliments about me” … she called me “wise beyond my years” and “at peace with the world”. And she was eager to learn how I taught myself to behave like this …
Now, as big an ego as I have … I didn’t post the last two paragraphs here to show-off.

What’s interesting is that she was the only one in the room who felt strongly enough to come up and say it to me. There were 20 other people in the room. So, what’s the deal … how come none of the others got that impression?

It’s because she came to coaching with a hunger. None of us really come back to coach because we want to just help others.

We want to help ourselves.

There are areas of our life we’re not satisfied with. And that’s why we’re back here coaching. And I’m sure many people would deny this … but you know it’s true.

This one coach had the hunger to fix whatever had been bugging her for past few months. She was looking for answers.

And that’s why she found them. Found them in my behaviour. Found them in Pete’s. And found them in modelling our philosophies on life.

And that’s why I’m sure that many of the missing coaches will be back … as we get closer to PoE, they’ll realize that this is their last chance for self-discovery this year (probably no other PoE until next year). And we all want to find that missing piece of the puzzle that will bring us peace and calm. And as this time-urgency grows, they’ll forget about the long hours and effort required … they’ll remember the feeling of a family … and the satisfaction of feeling good, after they’ve helped others change for the better.

The “New” Rachit
And I noticed something different about me in that room. In the last PoE, I was a star coach … and even though I was fairly good at NLP coaching (I hope), there was some apprehension and fears in me. I also didn’t want to seem like I knew-it-all.

But this time, there was pretty much nothing holding me back. I sat in that room like I owned it and everyone else should call me “boss”.

And that had an interesting side-effect. I was really in touch with my “better” identities. I was a calming influence on people around me. I was the fun yang to Pete’s confusing ying.

I was subconsciously competent in ALL the NLP that had flown around me … I didn’t even need to identify and observe all the patterns & techniques Pete/Stuart were using. I was using them too! Without even making an effort.

A few months ago, I was a goal-focussed, learning-eager, constantly-self-judging entrepreneur. I used to worry about whether I would meet my annual financial goals, whether I would meet my dream girl, whether I would be sick next week, whether I was doing the best I can in everything I attempted …

I don’t know the exact time or date … but something happened to me. I started choosing to be happy every day. Now, I don’t care about any of the above.

I don’t care if I meet my financial goals. I’m just gonna carry on and enjoy building a fun organization.

I don’t care if I meet the “right” girl any more. I meet girls all the time! The right one will stick around longer than the rest.

I don’t care if I could be sick next week. My job is just to worry about the tasks at hand today.

Out of nowhere, this entrepreneur … found “faith” in himself.

This new identity of mine doesn’t live everywhere. I’m fairly reserved when I meet new people.
But when I go back to AKLTG, I feel at home …

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  1. “Pete spinning webs, opening loops and making himself look like an idiot to all the new coaches.”


    “So, Mr Dayal, this is Owen from, do you think that calling-you-wise-beyond-your-years girl had a crush on you? Is she out of her mind?” :)

  2. Haha … no my friend, it is a connection to deep to be “crushed”ed. If you remember the 7 logical levels of the brain (from your Whoosh 2 notes) ;) … you’ll find this to be on the identity & spiritual level …

    Common girls are still stuck on the behavioural level with love, lust and crushes :D

    (I’m getting good at spitting out NLP gibbrish, no?)

  3. Can I just summarize what you just said with one word – “Platonic” ? :D

  4. Lolz this comment page is so funny. I think women are less spiritually inclined because they have to do all the dirty work to bring up wise-word sprouting men like us, who then go to hide in the jungles after making offsprings, to become godly and cool. Ah.. am I talking too much? ; )

    Glad that you have found more peace in the deep levels man! All the way for your trueself!

  5. Actually, you bring up a very interesting concept XF … much of our dating, mating and social behaviour comes from the genetic programming we (prehistoric humans) received during our cave days.

    Ever wonder why women are more choosy than men (Of course lah, the choosiness doesn’t apply when they have you or me as choices :P )?

    It’s because the risk for them to get involved sexually is much higher (9 months of lost mobility), while the man can happily go around screwing other women.

    And even though most women don’t consciously think of the dating game in such terms … their genes have this programmed … so they still act choosy.

    In fact, most women cheat on their partners in their most fertile period! It’s because subconsciously, they are looking for a BETTER father for their children … than the lame-dummy-security-husbands they’ve currently chosen

    JEEZ … I’m really good at throwing out nonsensical gibbrish … time to go take over Adam and Stuart’s job :D

  6. oh, i so disagree with what Rachit says.

    But well. I agree that women have to be more choosy. and choose while they still can. cause (1) age makes them less appealing, and what happens if they have chosen a jerk? (2) yes the 9mths thing.

    And then of course also. after women have made their choice, they will stick through it. or at least, they are forced to do so with the babies and stuff.

    so all in all, i think women are made for monogamy, and sadly, men are made for polygamy.

    Life is so unfair!

  7. Ah J, didya know … that worldwide … over 10% of the people actually have different fathers than they think?

    Women do cheat. Perhaps not at your age (maybe just a little bit for fun) … but most of the cheating happens around the desperate housewives age.


    Because women need two different things

    1. Socially, they need security. They need someone to provide house, food and comfort for them to live. The quintessential “nice guy”.

    2. Evolution-wise, they need a super-strong mate. They need a man who’s genes are better than hers, so that their kids can survive whatever nature throws at them. The quintessential “jerk aka mr confidence”.

    Unfortunately, most men in today’s society broadly fall into one of the two categories (except me and XF lah :D ).

    Which all explains why women are always looking for “mr right” … he has to be charming & sweet enough to fulfill the “i need a nice guy” requirements … while he has to exhibit a little bit of cockiness & confidence to fulfill the “i desire someone naturally attractive” requirements

    Most women aern’t lucky enough to find the right combo before marriage … so they end up living with mr nice … and being attracted to (and possibly cheating with) mr jerk.

    So, my theory fits in nicely with the “two men” theory you suggested … just a little more scandalous :P (if read by 35 year old aunties still learning about blogging)

  8. Er.. Yeah! Rachit’s comment is so correct! Especially the “(except me and XF lah)” part. Haha

  9. Hehe Mr Dayal what you said is MYSTERY to me :)

  10. Now now Mr Owen … your cryptic message is just going to DOUBLE YOUR MYSTERY to me ;)

  11. hey rachit,
    phew! finally able to get into yr blog.
    i think us being nosy parkers will be keen to follow the progress of your pursuit of the pretty coach, pretty closely, pray, you’ll persistently prick your pernicious prone audience updated, won’t you?

  12. Yes andreww … thanks for the reminder … I have been posting very little about my personal life lately … maybe I need to start some more scandals ;) !

    Keep visiting … after this SoE saga is over, I’ll certainly have some juicy stories and gossips … hehehehe

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