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"Do You Love Me?"

Dec 4th, 2006 | By | Category: Romance

This conversation happened 4 nights ago.

Me and her were lying in bed.

Faced each other with our eyes closed in a light, late-night embrace.

Thinking about the things people think about … at the end of another infrequent date (yep, we both have such grueling schedules).

And out of nowhere, came the question that I hadn’t quite thought about.

Although I had expected it for a few days.

—————————-

She: “Hey, let me ask you a silly question … (12 second pause) … Do You Ever Love Me?”

Me: Hahahaa (As my friends will attest, that benevolent all-knowing smile is my default response to everything)

She: Ummmmm … answer!

Me: (Awkward silence for about 25 seconds)

She: (Looks away. Possibly curses under her breath for bringing this up).

Me: I’m not sure what love means …

She: I mean, will you ever consider a LTR with me (that’s Long Term Relationship, numbnut).

Me: How do you define LTR?

She: I mean … a relationship for 2 years plus leh …

Me: (Slightly confused by this point, and thoroughly embarrassed for giving awkward answers. Wondering what the connection between “love” and LTR was …)

She: C’mon fella, I ain’t got all night. Stop turning red!

Me: Hey, did you go see that new James Bond movie? That Daniel Craig looks super-handsome! I mean, I don’t want to come across as gay … oh wait, you won’t think that, you’re already lying in bed with me. Anyway, about James Bond …

She: Grrrr!! … forget about it. All the girls who fall in love with you must be cursed with bad luck!

Me: I guess you don’t like James bond … let’s talk about “Happy Feet” … ?

She: (Sighs loudly, turns away and falls asleep with the shape of her lips curiously shaped like a big, loud “F”)

—————————-

Disclaimers, The exact language is highly inaccurate … the event happened 4 days ago … and I’ve introduced my personal brand of humor (really) and wit into this reproduction … but I have retained the basic meaning of our conversation.

And … I’m NOT voyeuristic fella to go out with. I can safely post this transcript bcoz this girl is one of the smartest chicks I’ve dated, and as she’s reading this, she’s laughing and chuckling :)

And since she’s probably going to be around for a while, this is the first of many times we will be having this discussion :P … So, I might as well talk about this to my conscience (also known as “readers of rachit.org”).

—————————-

But there was a good reason why I wanted to write about this … some very important questions about relationships in the society we live in …

  • Why would a girl feel like bringing up these issues just a few weeks into the relationship? (In fact, I think my gal is fairly independent … most other fem friends I have would’ve brought it up by the second overnight date).
  • Why did I feel guilty about saying “No, I don’t think it’s love yet …” or “No, There’s no way I can commit to an LTR …”?
  • Are we socially trained to be comfortable with commitments … but biologically tuned to run away from commitments? Which is why every-time we have to speak the truth … we feel guilty?
  • Are we (young ppl in Singapore) capable of western-style “casual dating”? Or will the line between “like”, “love” and “commit” always be blurred?
  • Why do I always have to wrestle with my dilemmas in front of the whole blogosphere and am I incapable of figuring out these things in the privacy of my own head?
  • Did you (the reader) actually take that last question seriously?

I mean, have I taught you nothing about sarcasm, wit and keeping a giant ego?

Laugh, chuckle … but do leave comments about your thoughts on young-people-relationships … because I really do want to know what you all think.

And I know you love reading my sensationalistic crap :D

16 comments
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  1. dude,
    it must’ve been really important for you to mull over it for ‘four days’ (4 freaking days!), to post about it now.

    the first rule of fight club:
    1) answer a question with a question -
    “what does love mean to you?”
    “how important is love?”
    “how did you know that you are in love with me?”

    or the classic:
    “have you ever been in the situation where you know what you want to say, but you can’t make the words to say it? It’s a feeling.”


    man, i seriously think you fucked that up.

    you should buy my ‘do you love me’ ebook.
    launching at $129.97, visit: RomanceMyLove.com now.

    and if you see a “Fatal Error”, just keep reloading it.
    it means the order server has exceeded it’s 1,000 orders per minute quota.

    try again later.


    good luck and good night.

  2. do you need a chapter on “7 ways to piss off women” for your book? I can pick out a few posts from this blog to fill up a chapter

    By the way, the girl messaged me to remind of some dialogues of that evening that I missed out … something about finding her other handsome chaps to date … and that I should write her a classifed personals ad on my blog.

    Message from mystery girl – “i saw the comment from Andrew saying u fucked up … that’s so funny!! :D

    Oh well, details for another post

    (it’s “good luck and good night”)

  3. Ha. This gal just needs to learn how to play the game right=P

    *hugs* Poor gal.

  4. dude,
    i dont need your content on pissing girls,er, see that’s another screw up already, women.. off.

    i forgot this lesson till someone reminded me the other day.

    when you see your gir,er, woman that day and she’s telling you what a lousy day she’s had, agree that her boss is lousy and the clients are stupid and she definitely did everything within her power to manage the situation.

    if you give advice, you’re setting yourself up for the death trap, or clap trap…

    yeah, there are other handsome guys out there, but sorry, i’m married. and you’re the only other with the Sinister Smile(TM).

    I dont think you need to write her a personal ad. just put her darn picture up and you’ll have a gazillon pongs from ping.sg and score even higher than the ‘i love rubbing myself against my bloster’ posts from sensualsophia….

    go check out the pic of his gf that this guy posted here:
    http://www.wickedfire.com/shooting-shit/5570-anyone-know-anything-about-photography-general-question-inside.html

    that’s a way to get a rise out of the audience.

    Janine: I don’t even know how to play the game,. it defaults to game over before i even start.

    huzza!

  5. Haha, this is a lovely read. That is really a great way of avoiding the all important question. Another question that they often ask is “Am I fat?”
    That is when you be afraid, be very afraid.

  6. Who’s that girl? *grin* *roll eyes* ;)

  7. Rachit you’re so fucking cruel. I’ll never sleep with you!

  8. you cad!

    you mean there were other guys too?

    who’s this Owen person?

    i thought i was the only one.

    You owe me a BIG explanation, mister!

    you,…..you………you…….dirty…..internet marketer, you!

  9. i feel so unclean……

    i have to go format my hard disk now.

    i hope you’re happy.

  10. Haha … you curious cats, here is the response from the girl in question

    ———————-

    Eh … Should I respond in public? Or private? Haha … Hmmmmm

    I saw the comment from Andrew saying u fucked up … that’s so funny!! :D
    Although, if I’m a 3rd person, I’d think the same way as him

    Anyway … to me, that’s exactly the response I expected from u (although I wouldn’t call it a “fuck up”)

    And I’m glad u don’t “love” me … and that’s why I’m still with u (and can still do some recruitment for more boys … haha)

    For a commitment-phobic like me (and you?), it’s the best this way … don’t u agree? :)

  11. OMG, she sounds as dysfunctional as you.

    good going!

    ps: still havent got that book you mentioned you’d email me!

  12. time for a blog update, dammit!

  13. Well perhaps you and your girl do not want to keep it in the wraps too much longer. Going public like this… this is your own space to dish out all those thoughts and I’m surprised to find Owen’s and Andrew’s respond to be so mild :-P

    Even our Love Doc, Kloudiia didn’t wanna say too much.

    On my part, you and the girl in question (I’ll hazard a guess who she is) are 2 of my favourite people around so I’ll send a message to the Collective Consciousness that things will work out well.

    Take heart, not just time with each other.

    Love a Feeling or a Decision? Is it a Decision you have Feelings about or a Feeling you need to Decide how to deal with?

    Look even if you have not much experience in the subect matter doesn’t mean you have not read enough of it…..Ali-G nonwithstanding haha…

    No matter how fucked up (that’s the usual position?) One thing remains true despite all the jest (and jazz) about finding each other love interests outside just the 2 of you…. you both share something special and exclusive to just the two of you.

    So screw the commitment thing for the time being and learn about each other what makes you people tick. In a very NLP sense of looking at things, committing to no commitment is a commitment itself. So might as well commit to something productive :-P

    To the girl in question: When Rachit asks “who’s your daddy!!??”…. just don’t think of me there and then.

  14. the story of the Abilene Paradox -

    On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene (53 miles away to the north) for dinner. The wife says, “Sounds like a great idea.” The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, “Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go.” The mother-in-law then says, “Of course I want to go. I haven’t been to Abilene in a long time.”

    The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.

    One of them dishonestly says, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it.” The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, “I wasn’t delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you.” The wife says, “I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that.” The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.

    The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.

    (from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_paradox)

    you see where this is going. what do you think?

  15. dude,
    u need to pound out a new post.

    we need to visit you and have a laugh in between our bouts of making big money….

  16. Haha … Thanks Pete & Cray … I understand the meanings of your messages :)

    I’ll be sure to screw every … belief that’s not useful ;)

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